A Year Ago…

One year ago, I was staying in a hotel room in Lincoln, preparing myself for a new day—a new normal.

One year ago, I had already been in Lincoln for three days getting the physical spaces ready for our new clinics.

One year ago, I was a chaotic combination of nerves, excitement, exhaustion, and adrenaline.

One year ago.

Just a year ago.

Only a year ago.

It feels simultaneously impossible that it’s been that long and so much longer.

A year ago we were launching our new clinics in Lincoln. I talked about some of it at length last May, and I’ve mentioned it a couple times since the start of the new year.

Subconsciously, I think, I created another busy week and weekend for myself. Maybe to distract myself. Because it’s so easy to get overwhelmed thinking about everything that happened that weekend. I can play it all back in my mind’s eye, like a film, I can still see it and feel it. It’s close to the surface. 

Thursday night I thought my personal laptop bit the dust. It’s poetic that I had computer problems this weekend.

So I planned to bring cupcakes to a teacher’s convention as a vendor. I took Friday off so I could spend the day frosting and decorating over 230 cupcakes. And Saturday, I spend the whole day at the convention talking to teachers about my cupcakes and how their days were going.

A lot of the women were glad I was back because they missed me—the “cupcake lady” was absent last year (more than they know…).

This morning though…this morning the cupcakes are all spoken for. This morning the laptop is fixed. This morning I was home and surrounded by quiet. And it didn’t take anytime at all to slip into retrospection.

There are things that I would do differently, if I could do it over again. There are things that I would have fought harder for and against. There are things I would let go of earlier. All that I’ve learned must help with future ventures.

As much work as it was a year ago…. I did enjoy the process and the satisfaction of accomplishing something on that scale. I’m looking forward to the next big project!