Holy Discontent

Holy Discontent

Last weekend I was in Sioux Falls, SD. I was there to visit friends and meet a five-month old little girl. It’s not an insignificant drive, but it’s not terrible. I’m just bummed I didn’t make it that way sooner.

The advantage and disadvantage of the college I went to is that it drew students to it from all over, people I wouldn’t have met otherwise. And then when we all graduated, it sent us all over the place. So I have friends all over the country. Which means visiting friends is like a mini vacation to a new city. It also means that it’s not so easy to see everyone—they don’t live in the same city. I’ve probably discussed this before.

But I had a great weekend with them. I loved seeing how my friends are developing as parents. I loved seeing how they’ve built a home. Their daughter is adorable, it was so good to spend time with her—it’s funny because she’s just a baby and you can only do so many things with a baby: hold her, feed her, change her diaper, and repeat. I got to do all of those things, and it was all good for my heart. (Even the diaper changing.)

I’ve been very career driven in the past few years. Not because I don’t want a family, I do, with all my heart. My career has just had a much clearer path. I’m not in a relationship, I live at home…and my biggest goal is to get out of my parent’s house.

This is holy discontent.

My parents were gone when I got back from Sioux Falls. They went to Iowa for the first part of the week so I had the house to myself. For three days. And I loved it. I took care of the dog, kept up on the dishes, did my laundry, and made my lunch for the following day each night. And I made a taggy blanket and did some writing. It was a very productive three days.

These are absolutely things that I could when my parents are around. But there's something about having a space to yourself. It's freeing.

It was a glimpse at what could be.

The concept of holy discontent was first presented to me over a year ago. It’s something I’ve wrestled with. I always thought that being a good Christian meant being content with what God has given me. But I was challenged with the idea that sometimes God nudges us, puts a stirring in our hearts that forces us to change.

Growth means change.