Wooed

Wooed

This week was a tough one.

One of the toughest ones I’ve had in a while.

I could recount all of the things that made it hard, that made it bad, but that doesn’t help move beyond it. And you don’t really want to read all about it anyway.

The point is that I made it through the week.

The other point is that most of the things that made it hard were things that I had no control over. They were things that I could not have done anything to prevent, and they were things that I could not have predicted. The hardest part of the hard week was my lack of control over it.

And if that isn’t a metaphor for my life, I don’t know what is.

And I imagine that it’s something that resonates with you too.

(Please don’t read this and think that there was nothing good about this week. That would be a complete misrepresentation of what actually happened. There were lots of good things, and if you were involved in those things, please know that you helped me through a very challenging week. And I am very grateful for you.)

Wednesday was the climax of the bad stuff. And I really just wanted to go home and not associate with any more people. But Wednesday is Bible Study day. So I went to my women’s Bible Study. Even though I hadn’t done the homework. Even though I didn’t feel like it. Even though I knew it was going to challenge me spiritually when I felt mentally and physically exhausted. And let’s be honest, I was spiritually exhausted, too.

I very easily could have made an argument to not go, and nobody would have thought less of me. I want to make it clear that I did not feel pressured to go. I didn’t think it would make me a better or worse Christian to go or not go.

But I’m trying to develop some muscle memory where my instinct is to turn to the cross and the Bible. This felt like one of those moments where I needed to keep the routine.

This week we were studying the book of Hosea. Hosea, the prophet who was called by God to marry and pursue Gomer. God used Hosea to demonstrate His own love for us. Even when Gomer was unfaithful and turned from Hosea, he pursued her. And so we are Gomer, and God pursues us with his unfailing love.

Much of this book demonstrated how Christ is our bridegroom and we are His bride. The study talks about how He woos us to Himself. And I needed wooing this week. (Which I can see much more clearly now than I could on Wednesday.)

Something Pastor Dan said this morning tied in beautifully with this Bible study. He said, “Our faithless actions don’t change Christ’s faithfulness.” He said we should anchor ourselves in this truth.

And that hit me right in the center of my wounded and weary heart.

It is very easy to find worth in things outside of Christ’s love for us.

The hardest part of this week was the stuff that I had no control over. Because I derive so much of my worth out of the way I have a handle on things. When I don’t have control, I feel like I’ve lost some of my value. And that is not only untrue, but also unhealthy. And I think if you look over the blogs from the last couple weeks, you’ll see hints of this. I have a lot of pride in how I can keep my thumb on so many different things.

But I’m human.

Sometimes I determine my value based on things that are temporary.

And sometimes I make an idol of myself.

But.

Thank God, He calls me to Himself in spite of my faithlessness.

Thank God, He loves me and woos me day after day.